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After a father-son camping trip, Peter realizes how irresponsible Chris is after raccoons steal their food and their car. Back at home, Peter gets Chris a job at the local golf course to try and teach him to be more responsible. Chris is content to just pick up golf balls, until he discovers that Peter has entered the father-son golf tournament, with Cleveland Jr.!

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When the local brewery has a contest offering tours of the plant, Peter and his friends go on a drinking binge trying to find the winning beer can. Through a stroke of dumb luck, Peter and Brian actually find one of the winning “scrolls”. In a Willy Wonka homage, Peter and Brian start the tour, but are quickly kicked out after drinking the “Beer that wasn’t supposed to be tasted.” Meanwhile, Lois’s students have a big piano recital/competition coming up – and Lois is praying one of her students wins.

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After an interview at Brown University, Meg realizes she needs more extra-curricular activities to gain entrance to this prestigious school. She joins every club and even tries cheerleading, but fails miserably at them all. Finally, she decides to join the school newspaper. Her journalism career goes nowhere, until Peter fabricates a story regarding actor Luke Perry.

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The town zoning laws won’t allow Peter to build a pool in his yard. When he tries to get a permit, he discovers that his property is actually not part of Quahog, and therefore not part of the United States. Armed with this new information, Peter makes his land his own country, calling it Petoria.

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Due to Brian’s embarrassing flea problem, the Griffin’s move into a hotel while the house if fumigated. Lois and Peter soon discover that Chris has been skipping gym class because he’s self-conscious about his body. Peter tries to talk Chris into getting liposuction, while Lois starts preparing him special low fat meals.

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After the mob helps Peter with destroying his new beat up car, so he can get another new car, he must repay his debt to the mob by taking The Don’s nephew, Big Fat Paulie, to the movies. Peter informs Paulie that they can’t hang out anymore because of Lois, a misunderstanding that leads Paulie to believe that Peter wants Lois killed.

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Lois fears that Stewie needs to learn how to be social, so she sends him off to Pre-school, where he falls in love with Janet, a girl who likes his cookies. Meanwhile, Lois becomes a flight attendent, and Peter takes advantage of the free flights.

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A plane smuggling psychedelic toads from Columbia crashes in Quahog, and toad-licked becomes the new drug of choice in the Quahog high school. Peter infiltrates the high school undercover as a cool kid named Lando Griffin, and is successful in convincing all the kids to quit licking toads. Meg is trying to gain popularity so that a cool kid will ask her to the prom, and decides to go with Peter since he’s established himself as an incredibly cool person.

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When Brian offers to pick up Stewie from his Grandma and Grandpa’s house, they miss their plane back and go on a cross-country journey back home.

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Meg’s slumber party is ruined by her family. She is sick of being embarrassed by them and secretly books the family on a talk show. Intrigued by their story, a network executive gets Peter to sign the family up to be on a reality show. Things quickly go awry, and the Griffins want out of the contract.

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